Do you ever feel like there must be more than this…no matter what this is? I do.
It’s my M.O. (learned something new today…this stands for Modus Operandi or Mode of Operation).
I’ve been home with my 3 beautiful kids for 14 months. I left the world of worship leading at our church when baby number 3 (pictured to the left) came along. Leaving was the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to make, but looking back on the time leading up to that decision, I knew God was calling me to be home. Frankly, I just didn’t want to listen. I made excuses and tried to bargain with God:
“But I’m at the top of my game”
“But I’m serving YOU and YOUR CHURCH!”
“How about if I just lead worship once a month and none of the office hours?”
“What if I just work in the office and none of the leading?”
Deep down, I knew I was supposed to give it all up. Not just a part, but the whole thing. And so I did. I committed to staying home with my kiddos for 1 year. It’s been 14 months and I’m antsy. Not antsy to give up on being home, but antsy to use the abilities and the gifts God has given me for Him and for His Church.
So, is it God-antsy or Andria-antsy?
Both are opportunities to grow in my relationship with Christ.
Andria-antsy: an opportunity to practice contentment and learn the meaning of Philippians 4:11-13
God-antsy: a holy restlessness followed by prompting through prayer and confirmation to step in a new direction
One of my favorite biblical characters is Moses and all this antsy-talk reminds me of him.
Moses-antsy (Exodus 2:11-12): Moses' restlessness resulted in his killing an Egyptian and having to flee Egypt.
God-antsy: Moses played a monster role in freeing the Israelites after 400 years of slavery so they could worship the One True God!
In Exodus 3, after 40 years of being refined in the desert, God calls Moses to act on the restlessness of his youth by asking him to go to Egypt and tell Pharaoh to release the Israelites from slavery. Sure, Moses made plenty of excuses, but in the end, God made it clear that Moses would be a part of His plan to redeem Israel.
As it turns out, God’s plan was the best plan; and it still is. His timing is perfect. I will learn to rest in Him when I am restless, have the courage to step forward when He Calls me and I will trust Him to reveal himself and His plan to me as I seek Him daily.
I just hope it doesn't take 40 years!
How about you? Can you trust God with your life? Will you have courage and step out in faith; doing whatever it is He's asking you to do?
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, an she will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6